World Records set this past weekend

Several world records were set this past weekend at Three Rivers. The first and foremost record would be............ Where the hell is everbody. The main clubhouse had me, Brian Estes and Mack Warr for Saturday Night. Least people ever in the clubhouse. Second record is my pit both Saturday and Sunday shot more ducks than anybody elses. North side of 14 at Floatilla, i told everbody this would happen (read prevouis blog).
The third record would be for poor shooting on the same day still maintaining the best pit title. Zac and Clay really missed most of the butter shots on Sunday though. Nelson told Zac he should just give up duck hunting.
The forth record is for Johnny May picking his phone up on the second ring. I actually called Johnny May's cell and he answered it. It was unbelievable, i did have his laptop in my custody and was holding for ransom. The lesson here is if you want Johnny to answer his phone steal his laptop.
The fifth record is for Hunter Z, his cell phone went dead and was without communication for 10 hours. Something must have happened in the universe such as a celestial or planetary shift, star alignment, electromagnetic energy in the air for Johnny to answer and Hunter to not have his phone.

As long as i am picking on everybody Why does Marcus have that ladder in his truck all the time? I thought he was an oral surgeon or something. Did he switch to a trade? Why not just get smaller tires?