Ladies


addison's picture

By (addison) -

Buffer

Fellas,

I need some real help in how to score chicks. I apparently have absolutely no game.

Folks tell me that my biggest deterances are:

1) I have a rash that keeps me from riding my mountain bike
2) My feet smell like the inside of a rhino's rectal cavity
3) My vocubulary is limited to simple "ur's" and "um's" when the ladies apporach.
4) I'm known to sleep on mangy couch quite a bit

Why can I do?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!

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Auto5man's picture

I'm with Joelby, I appreciate your willingness to bare all your vulnerabilities...that's a start right there, Chicks dig that. Might I also suggest purchasing some Under Armour brand insulated undie tights. They gently hug oneself everywhere in such a way that you are in a constant state of arousal....chicks dig it knowing you are randy and 'armoured' at all times...guaranteed results.

Grover

Bradley's picture

YAZZ FLUTE

rusty's picture

We'll visit in private. I offer private lessons....guided hunts if you will...to some of the best hunting in North America...guaranteed results

Rusty Getter

joelby's picture

Addison, thanks for your brutal vulnerablility.

I'd suggest that you turn your attention towards small domestic livestock.

Rumor has it, they aren't too picky.

Joel

Auto5man's picture

Swears by sheep...really, ask 'em!

kevinj's picture

Maybe apply a little "London Gentleman" or, if necessary, "Sex Panther" - 60% of the time it works EVERY TIME!

merle's picture

Subtly let her know that there is a party in your pants and she is invited....works every time and masks all your other inadequacies.

- Merle

rusty's picture

Word to all TRivers hombres...Merle is approaching...I repeat...Merle is approaching

Rusty Getter

iceman's picture

Addison,

I feel your pain, my advice would be the only guarenteed way to bag a classy lady... give her 2 tickets to the gun show...

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